Life is Beautiful

Life is beautiful. I always complained about pain in my right tight. It started right after high school, about eighteen years ago. It was not big pain to make me feel to go to doctor but it was enough to make me complain occasionally. It was coming in and out, sometimes my pain was not therefore six month, and some times, it was bothering me weeks after weeks.
After high school, I start to work on the cargo ships. I sailed eight full years on the ocean liners. I was living on the water most of the time. My pain in my right tight was always there and it was bothering some times more. However, I was young and did not care.
When our ship goes to other countries instead of going to the doctor, I was spending my time, doing enjoyable things, such as shopping and visiting places. I always forget about it when there was better thing to do.
Once when we were in the middle of Atlantic Ocean I could not go to sleep because of the pain. When I touch my tight, I felt a little bump in the middle of it. Exactly it was between my knee and hip. It was not a big or a high bump but it was hard. I start to feel better; it was as big as a walnut. I got up and wanted to feel it better but it was not there. Next morning I decided to talk to one of the officer on the ship, which is responsible from health problems. I explained him what happened, I tried to show him the bump but no luck it was not there anymore.
After I stop working on the ships, I decided to come to US. It was a big change in my life. I got married and settle-down in Indianapolis. My tight was not bothering me as often as before but I know it was there. I was able to walk, run, bike even play soccer with no problem.
Winter of 1999 I started to have little pain and felt the little bump again. Little bumps still as big as a walnut and still it was some times there, sometimes not. That time I decided to go to a doctor.
At doctors office I tried to do everything to show him the little bump but it was gone. He told me there is nothing between knee and hip straight bone and muscles. He told me it might be a fat cell that he can remove it with a little surgery. I did not convince that was a fat cell. I left the doctors office until following year, it start to bother again. This time I went to another doctor to get second opinion. I was more curious than caring about the pain. I explained everything him over. He said He does not have any clue but he knows someone does. He sent me to a specialist.
Started over again, new doctor, new questions. He checks my tight and immediately he told me I have something wrong in my tight. Even I was not able to feel the bump at that moment, he was able to tell me something is wrong. I was happy to see somebody that can see my problem.
After I got my MRI result, I went to the same doctor. He was showing me four different spots on the MRI pictures. He was not sure what are they, but I had a chance to be a cancer. He wanted to send me another specialist.
It did not hit me hard at that time. I never thought about to be a cancer, or die, or any another bad things it might happen to me. I always felt secure and sure I was going to live and see my sixties… at least.
Here I am in my bed looking to ceiling and thinking what will happens if I die. What my parent will do? What about my brother and sister? What about my wife? My friends? What about my thought about my future, our future? Who will be doing it? Do I have enough time for my dreams? I never thought I could cry if I knew I would die sooner than I thought, but her I am looking to ceiling and could not stop the tears coming from my eyes.
Finally, I met the second specialist. He was hurry like all the other doctors. He briefly explained to me what is wrong; “It was a birth defect on my blood vessels. It will not affect anything. It might give me little pain when it is cold. Nothing worries about my leg or pain.” I said, “I wasn’t worried but curious until the first specialist now I’m happier than ever.”
An experience I learned an important lesson from my little pain. Now I know I should live every moment of my life with happily and consciously. Life is beautiful and we should fill with joy every moment of it.